CouchSurfing: How Do I Ensure My Safety?
Since I joined CouchSurfing I have had many different people ask me questions about it. Anything from how I can choose who surfs with me to the commitments and benefits of joining. I have already begun to answer some of the questions, particularly what’s in it for me, and I will continue to attempt to do so. Recently I received an email from the CouchSurfing team about sticky situations and safety precautions one can take to ensure an enjoyable experience. I think that this is a great opportunity to build off of this email so that I can elaborate on the safety measures available to me as an avid CouchSurfer. Also I want to explain exactly how I employ these safety measures and how I view each one.
Before I go into all that, I want to make a disclaimer. Despite all of the precautions one can take, there is always the potential for a bad experience with CouchSurfing. Meeting someone for the first time and sleeping on their couch, or spare bed, or even the floor, is one thing. But meeting someone for the first time and inviting them into your own home takes a great deal more trust. Of course putting that trust forward provides the opportunity for it to be broken. No matter what you do to prevent this type of situation, the possibility is still there. However, the more careful you are, the less likely something like this will happen. So please, don’t be so naïve to think you are invulnerable to some dirt bag wanting to prey on your trust and inhibitions. Those people are always out there, so be careful and don’t be stupid; be conscious of which people you agree to host or surf with and be aware of the warning signs.
References
This is the primary safety feature of the site and the one I pay most attention to. If a member does not have any references or a few neutral or negative responses, you should definitely think twice before hosting or surfing with that person. Of course, everyone needs to start somewhere so normally new members don’t have references. In this case, you should expect a detailed and personal surfing request from them, which is detailed below.
References cannot be changed or deleted by the member for whom they are made. This is why I think they are the most important. Anyone and everyone can leave a reference for anyone else and people are not able to cover their tracks so easily if someone leaves a bad reference. Yes, that member can create a new account, but then that goes back to the original situation of not having any references.
Whenever I get a surfing request (and I get a lot) or when I am trying to find a host, I always, always read their references. Even if there are a lot and it takes a while, I make sure to read every line. Even if a member has only one negative reference I will definitely think twice about it. The references are my primary tool for safety and everything else is secondary.
I always make sure to leave references for the people I host or surf with as well. Because I view references as being the most important safety feature, I feel it is important to perpetuate the system and ensure that future surfers/hosts have at least some idea of what they are getting into with a particular person.
Verification
“A way for you to show other CouchSurfers that you are who you say you are.” All you have to do to get verified is use a credit card in your name to donate a few dollars. Essentially verifying your name and address. Anyone with a credit card can do this so I don’t put much stock into it. I am not verified and don’t plan on getting verified for the time being, and yet I have not met any obstacles with finding a host. It is a safety feature but I think that only for a very few isolated cases this is not very important.
Friends List
Second only to references, the friends list is an important aspect I always take into consideration. After surfing or hosting, almost everyone makes friends with each other. Like references, if a member does not have any CouchSurfing friends, I will be wary. Honestly, if a person does not have any friends, what would make you think you can get a long with him or her?
Vouching
How vouching works is somewhat similar to references and friends lists. Not everyone can vouch for anyone; it is a special measure to portray a high level of trust in a person. To be able to vouch for others you must be vouched for by 3 other people first. Then, and only then, can you vouch for another person. In this way, the community of people who are vouched for and who can vouch for others is policed by the strict policies regarding this system.
As far as I can tell, the people who have been vouched for are generally very helpful and generous people who actively participate in and support the CouchSurfing community. But realistically, vouching takes a back seat to the references and friends list. This is primarily because, in China at least, there are not a lot of people I have come across who have been vouched for. Leaving references and making (or not making) friends with people is a much easier, far more accessible means for letting others know about your experience with a particular member.
Surfing or hosting with a vouched for member is good, but for me it is certainly not a deal-breaker. Hell, I haven’t even been vouched for once and, like I wrote, I have no trouble finding hosts.
Surfing Request Messages
I feel that this is an oft-overlooked measure for safety. While it does not employ or insure any level of security for any party, I believe that for the people who are receiving surfing requests this is a good measuring stick for the sincerity of a potential surfer. I get lots of surfing requests and I have had all sorts of messages. From exhaustively long and detailed emails to just a few short lines. Obviously it is not so easy to determine the personality or demeanor of a person through something as disconnected as an email, but I believe that one can gain powerful insight into the commitment and nature of a surfer by this means.
About a month ago I instituted a few rules that potential surfers must be aware of and heed (you can see my profile here). Since then I have received two types of messages: ones that mention my rules (I read your rules and I think…) and ones that do not. While it is certainly not always the case, I get the impression that those who do not mention my rules are those who are not entirely sincere about surfing my couch. Perhaps they didn’t even read my profile? Maybe they are just sending mass messages to hosts with the hope of getting a bite or two, who knows. The surfing request messages are not a deal-breaker, but I am much more inclined to invite someone into my home when they write me a well thought-out email that shows they did at least a modicum of research about me and about Xi’an.
So there you have it. These are the safety features available to me and to every other CouchSurfer out there. While it is entirely possible that you can have a bad experience (possibly catastrophic or traumatizing) with a fellow surfer, as you can see there are ways to improve your chance of having a perfectly good, normal interaction. I think it should especially be noted that bad experiences through CouchSurfing are not the norm. Not at all. The vast majority of people participating in CouchSurfing are kind, generous, easy-going people who love to meet new people and travel the world. But of course with any free service there will be a few bad apples. This is unavoidable. However, as I have just lain out before you, there are easy ways to protect yourself.
But beyond all of the things that CouchSurfing offers for this purpose, there is one feature that surpasses them all and yet is not offered by the site. That is your own judgment. Use your judgment and listen to your gut when you think a bad situation might arise. Don’t be afraid to speak up, extricate yourself, or call for help.
So be wise, be safe, and happy travels.
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Graham,
The link for “you can read my profile here” didn’t come through. I found you though.
(http://www.couchsurfing.org/people/gwoodring/ for anyone else who wants to see it.)
I wondered how strict your “rules” were at first, but when I read them, they seem like common sense rules! Not showing up when you requested to surf with someone is very rude. One couple we are hosting are arriving on a very late flight so asked if it was OK before they booked the flight! I thought that was very considerate.
I agree that you can learn a lot about people through how they present themselves on their profile. Photos say a lot too! I also like it when people take the time to write a long email with a bit about themselves, why they would like to stay at our place in particular, and what they think we have in common.
We haven’t been to Xi’an yet, but it’s on our list to do before we leave China. I subscribe to your RSS feed and enjoy your blog! Emily (http://www.couchsurfing.org/people/minors/)
Great stuff, Graham. I’ve signed up, but never actually “surfed.” I should give it a try.
@Emily: Right, forgot about that. Fixed it, thanks. I don’t have those rules because I’m onerous or a jerk, they really are based on common sense and courtesy. As much for me as for other travelers. If I say yes to one surfer, that usually means I’m saying no to 3 or 4 others. If that one cancels, the other surfers miss out as well. I forgot to write about photos, but yes, they are a must. I would never host or surf with a person who does not have a photo of themselves posted.
When you come to Xi’an, be sure to send me a message or an email. I’d be happy to host you are at least meet up to show you around for a bit. Thanks for reading!
@Stevo: If you ever make it up to Xi’an, you’re always welcome on my couch. I think signing up in the first place is the biggest step. You’ve done that, now all you have to is get out there and travel some more.
Seems like a key “security” feature of this process is that fact that the host has a lot of information prior to the guest arriving. While the information can be false, the picture is the key. If the person shows up and does not match the picture, you don’t let him in. I suggest to everyone that after accepting a guest, they EMail all the information to a third party, and then make in clear to all guest that that is part of your standard operating procedure. This may deter somewhat people with unfriendly intentions.
I will definitely send you a message! Same goes for you if you are in Shanghai.
@Stevo: Try it. A few months ago, we went to Harbin for a weekend before a business meeting and stayed in a hotel. Later I realized how dumb it was not to look for CSers – a few sounded like awesome hosts and it would have been SO much better to have someone who lived there to hang out with a bit!
@donald: I agree, the host having a lot of information before the surfer arrives is important. If a potential surfer does not have a complete profile (as in, leaves some things out) you should probably think twice about hosting them.
@Emily: sweet, thanks!
Thanks for the good essay. I recently joined and I’m hosting my first surfer from Portland tomorrow. I didn’t see your rules on your profile–likely because you’re not available for hosting right now. If you have a second to post them here in the comments, I’d like to read them. Much appreciated, and again thanks for the good content above.
Yeah I removed my rules a while back. I’m back living at home for the moment so definitely no possibility of hosting surfers. Unfortunately I don’t have a copy of them. It was mostly just to deal with the volume of surfing requests I got.
The general idea was that if you request to surf my couch, show respect to me and other surfers by making sure you actually show up when you say you will. If I agree to host you then I’m probably saying no to one or more other people. And in the event that you don’t show up then not only do you lose out but the other surfers I said no to lose out as well. And that’s not right.
Welcome to CouchSurfing Shawn! I hope you have only good experiences with it. Eventually you will learn what works for you and what doesn’t, and you can come up with your own rules of conduct. Good luck!