During the course of my travels and using CouchSurfing, I have come to recognize a few common courtesies guests should extend to their hosts.  There is already a great list of tips for surfers on the CouchSurfing website.  It is very helpful and I think it is a great start.  Some of the more important ones (to me at least) are: Make Plans, Discuss your schedule, Learn your host’s guidelines, and Follow your host’s lead.

While that list is a good start, I think there are a few extra tips one should take into consideration when surfing someone’s couch.

Keep in mind that these are entirely subjective to my own experiences. It’s certainly possible that I’m too much of a control/neat freak and this is over the top.  But from my own encounters with surfers and hosts alike, I give you my own tips for being a good CouchSurfer:

1.  Hygiene

Personal hygiene is a big one for me.  If I am going to invite you into my home, I expect you to have a level of personal hygiene somewhere above none.  Granted, you may not always be able to take a shower or brush your teeth in your host’s home (especially in China).  But if the opportunity presents itself you should take it to wash the dirt and smell of travel off you and your clothes.

I may be a little insensitive here, but personal choice or lifestyle is no excuse to bring all manner of pungent odors into my home.  Just because it’s cool to bathe only once a month back on the hippy commune where you live most of the year isn’t an excuse to sleep on my couch and leave it smelling like a compost heap that’s been sodomized by a hobo.

And you know what else?  I don’t care how “rad” or “gnarly” you think your “dreads” are.  They stink.  And they leave my pillowcases smelling like a rotting rodent carcass.  Wash your hair.

2.  Tidy Up

This is possibly the most important of all surfing tips.  Tidy up after yourself!  This includes while you are actually inside your host’s home and while you are out and about exploring.

While in your host’s home, make sure not to clutter his personal space with your stuff and garbage.  Anything you bring with you that ends up being garbage (snack wrappers, plastic bags, etc), make sure you clean it up right away.  Don’t let it wait until the morning; do it now.  Show a little respect for your host and his home by not making it messy.

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When you go out exploring during the day (or night, as it may be) take all of your belongings and put them as far out of the way as possible.  Sure, you may be doing a yearlong trip around the world and have a HUGE pack, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find some corner to stick it in.  And try not to leave your toiletries or gadgets lying all over the place while they’re charging.

My personal philosophy when surfing with others is to leave as little evidence of me actually being there when I’m out.  I take all my stuff, put it back into my bag and place it somewhere out of sight.  My host is generous enough to give me place to rest my head for free.  The least I can do is not disturb the tranquility of his home by forcing him to navigate around my backpack and avoid my toiletries.

3.  Their Schedule, Not Yours

Even before surfing with someone, make sure that your intended schedule is compatible with his.  It is important to understand that the majority of hosts have lives that involve either work or study.  So if your host needs to be up early, you shouldn’t be coming back in the wee hours of the morning after a good time at the bar.

If you plan on having late nights and your host is totally cool with that, all the better.  But if your host needs his sleep and wakes up early, then you should consider staying elsewhere.

But being clear about your schedule with your host is important if it’s anything out of the ordinary.  If I’m up at 7 AM for work, I don’t want to agree to host you and then find out you won’t be coming back until 4 AM (this has actually happened to me, if you can believe that).

4.  Ask For Their Advice

Even if you don’t want or need it!  Sure, you may have done tons of research before your trip, read your guidebook on the plane, and asked people on the street.  But if you’re staying with someone who actually lives in the place you are visiting, then who else could be a better source of information?

Another great reason to ask your host is to give him a chance to show pride in his home and knowledge of the area.  As an ESL teacher, I find the easiest way to get my students talking is to ask them about themselves or their home.  Well, get your host to talk about his town.

Not only are you showing respect for your host by asking for his advice, but you are also giving him a great opportunity to tell you all his favorite places and maybe even some stuff you won’t find in the guidebooks.  Regardless of whether or not you will heed his advice, it will most certainly give your host a boost of confidence if you ask him for help navigating his town.

So there’s my four additions to CouchSurfing’s already great Tips for Surfers.  I admit that I am a bit of a neat freak, so take this with a grain of salt.  It may be the case that I’m being too controlling or too over-zealous.  But hey, it’s my house and I’ll run it how I damn well please, thank you!  From my own experiences I have cultivated this short list of extra habits I always do when surfing someone’s couch.  And I always appreciate it more when my guests do the same.

One important thing to remember is that if your host has a problem with your behavior in his home, the case may be that he is too shy or too polite to say anything to you about it.  So always be mindful of how your host conducts himself in his house, how he manages his home and his stuff, and try to pay attention to his reactions or attitude when you are in his home.  “A man and his castle” and all that, you know?

And don’t forget, always leave a deserving reference for your host for other potential surfers to see.  In the world of CouchSurfing, references are like currency.  They show your appreciation for your host, and they help out other surfers looking for a place to lay their head at night.

Happy surfing!

Related posts:

1. CouchSurfing: How Do I Ensure My Safety?
2. CouchSurfing: What’s in it For Me?
3. The Dangers of CouchSurfing

Taken from Dailymail Online:

A volunteer host who believed he was ‘irresistible’ to women, lured a holidaymaker to his flat after meeting her on website couchsurfing.com before brutally raping her.

Recorder Peter Collier said: ‘When your partner left you, you intentionally used the couchsurfing website to attract women to your home.

I think this news really illuminates how vulnerable of a position we put ourselves in when surfing on other people’s couches.  Despite my belief that CouchSurfing is generally full of good people, there will always be some bad apples that will take advantage of the trust and kindness of others.  This turn of events comes as very disturbing news, but my faith is not shaken in this project.

It’s true that CouchSurfing requires a lot of trust.  We agree to enter a stranger’s home and spend the night (or a few nights).  We agree to let strangers enter our own home and entreat them to accept our hospitality.  This system is rife with opportunities for people of loose (or no) morals to take advantage of us.

It is not, nor will ever be, a perfect system.  We must rely on the kindness and hospitality of others to see us through.  That level of risk is not for everyone and I completely understand that.  There is nothing wrong with it and this incident goes to show you that sometimes our fears do come true.  Though we must recognize that this is not an isolated incident.  It is possible to be taken advantage of just as easily through Craig’s List, Ebay, House-swap programs, and much more.

Granted, you don’t run the risk of being raped via Ebay but the underlying principle is the same.  If you give someone the opportunity to commit transgressions against you, it is possible that that person will act on it.  The fact is it doesn’t matter what medium a person uses to commit crimes.  If a person has the desire and motivation then it can happen no matter the circumstances.

One surfer I recently hosted told me that she couldn’t tell her parents that she is CouchSurfing around the world because they would be too afraid for her.  As a single woman traveling by herself, I wouldn’t blame her parents for being scared for her.  As this news clearly shows there is a danger that things can go from bad to traumatizing very fast.

Although there are plenty of ways you can ensure your safety while CouchSurfing and you can take plenty of precautions, the fact of the matter is that this danger does exist.  It is possible.  But on the flip side this seems to be a very rare occurrence (I have never read about anything like this before, although that certainly doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened).  Again, I believe that the CouchSurfing community is compromised of good, honest, and generous people.

Don’t let this incident discourage you from exploring what CouchSurfing has to offer.  Just make sure to be safe and be smart.  That’s the best you can hope for.  But if that’s not enough for you, then don’t join.  And don’t let anyone hold that against you.

Safe travels and happy surfing!

Related posts:

1. CouchSurfing: How Do I Ensure My Safety?
2. CouchSurfing: What’s in it For Me?
3. My First CouchSurfing Experience

Since I joined CouchSurfing I have had many different people ask me questions about it.  Anything from how I can choose who surfs with me to the commitments and benefits of joining.  I have already begun to answer some of the questions, particularly what’s in it for me, and I will continue to attempt to do so.  Recently I received an email from the CouchSurfing team about sticky situations and safety precautions one can take to ensure an enjoyable experience.  I think that this is a great opportunity to build off of this email so that I can elaborate on the safety measures available to me as an avid CouchSurfer.  Also I want to explain exactly how I employ these safety measures and how I view each one.

Before I go into all that, I want to make a disclaimer.  Despite all of the precautions one can take, there is always the potential for a bad experience with CouchSurfing.  Meeting someone for the first time and sleeping on their couch, or spare bed, or even the floor, is one thing.  But meeting someone for the first time and inviting them into your own home takes a great deal more trust.  Of course putting that trust forward provides the opportunity for it to be broken.  No matter what you do to prevent this type of situation, the possibility is still there.  However, the more careful you are, the less likely something like this will happen.  So please, don’t be so naïve to think you are invulnerable to some dirt bag wanting to prey on your trust and inhibitions.  Those people are always out there, so be careful and don’t be stupid; be conscious of which people you agree to host or surf with and be aware of the warning signs.

References
This is the primary safety feature of the site and the one I pay most attention to.  If a member does not have any references or a few neutral or negative responses, you should definitely think twice before hosting or surfing with that person.  Of course, everyone needs to start somewhere so normally new members don’t have references.  In this case, you should expect a detailed and personal surfing request from them, which is detailed below.

References cannot be changed or deleted by the member for whom they are made.  This is why I think they are the most important.  Anyone and everyone can leave a reference for anyone else and people are not able to cover their tracks so easily if someone leaves a bad reference.  Yes, that member can create a new account, but then that goes back to the original situation of not having any references.

Whenever I get a surfing request (and I get a lot) or when I am trying to find a host, I always, always read their references.  Even if there are a lot and it takes a while, I make sure to read every line.  Even if a member has only one negative reference I will definitely think twice about it.  The references are my primary tool for safety and everything else is secondary.

I always make sure to leave references for the people I host or surf with as well.  Because I view references as being the most important safety feature, I feel it is important to perpetuate the system and ensure that future surfers/hosts have at least some idea of what they are getting into with a particular person.

Verification
“A way for you to show other CouchSurfers that you are who you say you are.”  All you have to do to get verified is use a credit card in your name to donate a few dollars.  Essentially verifying your name and address.  Anyone with a credit card can do this so I don’t put much stock into it.  I am not verified and don’t plan on getting verified for the time being, and yet I have not met any obstacles with finding a host.  It is a safety feature but I think that only for a very few isolated cases this is not very important.

Friends List
Second only to references, the friends list is an important aspect I always take into consideration.  After surfing or hosting, almost everyone makes friends with each other.  Like references, if a member does not have any CouchSurfing friends, I will be wary.  Honestly, if a person does not have any friends, what would make you think you can get a long with him or her?

Vouching
How vouching works is somewhat similar to references and friends lists.  Not everyone can vouch for anyone; it is a special measure to portray a high level of trust in a person.  To be able to vouch for others you must be vouched for by 3 other people first.  Then, and only then, can you vouch for another person.  In this way, the community of people who are vouched for and who can vouch for others is policed by the strict policies regarding this system.

As far as I can tell, the people who have been vouched for are generally very helpful and generous people who actively participate in and support the CouchSurfing community.  But realistically, vouching takes a back seat to the references and friends list.  This is primarily because, in China at least, there are not a lot of people I have come across who have been vouched for.  Leaving references and making (or not making) friends with people is a much easier, far more accessible means for letting others know about your experience with a particular member.

Surfing or hosting with a vouched for member is good, but for me it is certainly not a deal-breaker.  Hell, I haven’t even been vouched for once and, like I wrote, I have no trouble finding hosts.

Surfing Request Messages
I feel that this is an oft-overlooked measure for safety.  While it does not employ or insure any level of security for any party, I believe that for the people who are receiving surfing requests this is a good measuring stick for the sincerity of a potential surfer.  I get lots of surfing requests and I have had all sorts of messages.  From exhaustively long and detailed emails to just a few short lines.  Obviously it is not so easy to determine the personality or demeanor of a person through something as disconnected as an email, but I believe that one can gain powerful insight into the commitment and nature of a surfer by this means.

About a month ago I instituted a few rules that potential surfers must be aware of and heed (you can see my profile here).  Since then I have received two types of messages: ones that mention my rules (I read your rules and I think…) and ones that do not.  While it is certainly not always the case, I get the impression that those who do not mention my rules are those who are not entirely sincere about surfing my couch.  Perhaps they didn’t even read my profile?  Maybe they are just sending mass messages to hosts with the hope of getting a bite or two, who knows.  The surfing request messages are not a deal-breaker, but I am much more inclined to invite someone into my home when they write me a well thought-out email that shows they did at least a modicum of research about me and about Xi’an.

So there you have it.  These are the safety features available to me and to every other CouchSurfer out there.  While it is entirely possible that you can have a bad experience (possibly catastrophic or traumatizing) with a fellow surfer, as you can see there are ways to improve your chance of having a perfectly good, normal interaction.  I think it should especially be noted that bad experiences through CouchSurfing are not the norm.  Not at all.  The vast majority of people participating in CouchSurfing are kind, generous, easy-going people who love to meet new people and travel the world.  But of course with any free service there will be a few bad apples.  This is unavoidable.  However, as I have just lain out before you, there are easy ways to protect yourself.

But beyond all of the things that CouchSurfing offers for this purpose, there is one feature that surpasses them all and yet is not offered by the site.  That is your own judgment.  Use your judgment and listen to your gut when you think a bad situation might arise.  Don’t be afraid to speak up, extricate yourself, or call for help.

So be wise, be safe, and happy travels.

Related posts:

1. The Dangers of CouchSurfing
2. My First CouchSurfing Experience
3. How to Be a Good CouchSurfer