An American in the Far East » Funny Sign

Funny Sign Friday

Graham — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 05:30:33 +0000

This sign comes from Maiji Shan in Tianshui, Gansu Province.

And if the bird sings, the wind blows, and butterfly dances in the air? Run like hell.

Funny Sign Friday

Graham — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 02:12:59 +0000

This sign was found in the Bonsai Tree garden next to Huangguoshu Pubu in Anshun, Guizhou Province.

Clearly the image indicates that there should be no lighting of fires. I get that. But what about other firing? Can you fire guns? Can you fire employees? Will it destroy the peace and serenity of the garden if you are on the phone firing somebody? Chinese usually try to avoid confrontation, so I suppose it’s possible.

And scribbling? I can’t even begin to imagine the horrors that would be unleashed by scribbling a note on a piece of paper. Imagine, if you will. You are lost and trying to find your way back to your car. Someone offers to give you directions. You pull out a pen and paper and start to hastily scribble down what he is saying. All of a sudden, policemen jump out from behind the Bonsai trees and attack! They mercilessly beat you for scribbling. Oh the humanity! Clearly you should not scribble things down. Because you might be writing down politically subversive doctrines or what not. And that would certainly disturb the peace. Or, at the very least, cause people to think for themselves. And the powers that be can’t have that. Certainly not.

Funny Sign Friday

Graham — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 14:36:15 +0000

I found this sign at the Martyrs Memorial in Nanjing, Jiangsu Province.

Because in the movies, the good guy always shows mercy to the bad guy. The bad guy, well, let’s call him Grass, is given a respite. The good guy … alright, that’s you, you turn your back to Grass and start walking away into the camera. You have that “oh man, I’m bad ass enough to defeat Grass in a one-on-one battle, but I’m also wise enough to overcome my desire for revenge and walk away” moment. The audience loves it. But then, wait, what’s that in the background? The camera is focused on you, so we can only see a blurry specter rise up from the ground. It’s Grass! Look out! Grass is going to try to take advantage of you letting your guard down! But you know it’s coming. Yeah you do. Because you know how this stuff goes down. It’s in your blood.

You spin around and the final battle ensues! You and Grass become locked in an epic struggle. There’s some wire fighting, some explosions, and plenty of bullets flying. It’s intense. Finally, in the end you prevail over Grass and he is truly defeated. Once again, you show mercy and do not end his life. Because that’s how you roll.

So remember, when faced with the choice of revenge or mercy, show mercy to Grass. Because really, even if Grass tries to take advantage of that, it won’t be the end. Seriously, how much of a fight will Grass put up anyway? It’s grass for goodness sake.

Funny Sign Friday

Graham — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 03:09:06 +0000

I found this sign in Nanjing, Jiangsu province.

BBC’s Su Li reports from Nanjing: “Reporting live from Nanjing, People’s Republic of China. In recent months there has been an unprecedented proliferation of a specific genre of American cinema ripping through China’s youth like a tidal wave. More specifically, movies such as Step Up, Step Up 2 the Streets, and You Got Served have seen a huge spike in popularity; playing to sell-out crowds in theaters all over the city. These movies, commonly referred to as ’street dance’ cinema, have spawned a huge following of underground break dancers and imitators.

“The movement began in seedy back alleys and in public areas in the more poor sections of town. On most nights of the week people could spy groups of young Chinese recreating these ‘dance-offs’ to violent conclusions. As everyone knows, Chinese simply cannot dance. These troubled youth, in an attempt to imitate the fast and furious dancing of their favorite movies, end up not only hurting themselves and others, but also damaging property with their wildly flailing limbs and their bodies being launched into the air.

“In what comes as a surprise to most, recently the movement has gained powerful momentum. Attracting China’s under-represented, frustrated, under-educated and unemployed youth, who view street dancing as a means to live the exciting American lifestyle. Gangs of these kids have spilled into the more affluent parts of town, obstructing traffic and disrupting the peace for residents and tourists alike. The problem of rival gangs dancing off against each other–sometimes even three or four gangs simultaneously–has grown so big that the city has erected these ‘Step Off’ signs around many public areas in an attempt to curb these violent outbreaks of dancing. For these people are not only damaging property, but their dancing is so horrendous that they are visually and mentally assaulting anyone who happens to witness these events. One senior woman has been in a coma for three weeks after viewing three rival gangs attempting to dance off against each other.

“So why ‘Step Off’? Because in the street dancing world, when two gangs meet in the streets two things can happen. Either one gang will step off, and leave in peace, or they will bring it. The opposing gang can choose to back down-they can step off as well-or they can bring it back. And once both gangs have brought it, then it’s on. And that’s when the chaos ensues. The whirlwind of destruction and bad dancing continues until one gang gets served, which sometimes can take days.

“So hopefully these signs will encourage these dance-crazed youth to step off, leave in peace, and not cause any further damage to the city and to it’s people.

“This is Su Li, reporting for BBC from Nanjing, People’s Republic of China, signing off. Good night.”

Funny Sign Friday

Graham — Fri, 29 May 2009 16:15:17 +0000

This sign is at the Panda Breeding Research Center in Chengdu, Sichuan Province. Right outside the area with the infant Pandas, no less.

Mr. Li stuck by his guns even when everyone else said opening a burger joint serving Panda meat was a bad idea. Opening right across the street from the Panda Breeding Research Center was a gutsy move, but Mr. Li was confident the risk would pay off. Now it’s Mr. Li who has the last lau … ah crud.